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Luxury BDSM Day Collars, Locks & Jewelry - Handcrafted by a MS Lifestyle couple since 2013


Store Policies

Hello and Welcome to ToBeHis Luxury Hand Crafted Custom Collars and Locks!

We are so honored to be able to make beautiful Day Collars that are so special and important to our customers. We consider it a privileged to be able to be a part of the lives of our "lifestyle" counterparts. 

In order to serve our customers better and for there to be no confusion or miscommunication we strongly suggest you read all of the shop's policies, shop announcements, descriptions, pictures and processing times before ordering. This way we are both on the same page which will hopefully prevent any problems or misunderstandings.

Thank you!




Processing times vary from product to product and are listed in each items page itself.  Because processing times can change depending on how busy we are we are not able to give an exact time. Please understand and remember, all of our work truly is handmade from scratch and to order. There are no mass produced, pack&ship items on

If you need something made faster or need a more accurate time please email us BEFORE purchasing.  We always try and work with our customers.

Processing times start the day after the purchase.  For example, if you purchase the item on the 1st of the month  the processing time starts the next day on the 2nd of the month.  




Customers are given 24 hours after a purchase is made to cancel their order- with the lucky exception that your order was made and shipped early. Immediately following those 24 hours we begin handcrafting your custom piece(s) and a cancelation is no longer possible. If you would like to cancel your order and you are within those initial 24 hours and the previously mentioned exception does not apply, just send us a message using the "contact us" form and we will be happy to do so!


Once your custom piece is finished it will be packaged and shipped.  You will receive an email with all shipping information.  We offer several shipping options.  It is the buyer's responsibility to select the best shipping service for their needs.  If you need something as soon as possible and your purchase the slower 1st class shipping we cannot be held responsible for the speed at which the shipping service gets it to you.  ToBeHis LLC is not affiliated nor associated with any shipping service and therefore cannot be held responsible for duration of delivery or any delays in shipping.

Shipping Insurance

ToBeHis does not insure purchases.  This is the responsibility of the buyer.  If the buyer feels their purchase needs insurance they must contact us before they make their purchase to request it.  

Many countries including the UK impose import taxes on items purchased from the United States (which is where we are located). We here at ToBeHis have absolutely no control over your government's laws on imported items and therefore we can not be held in any way responsible for charges imposed by your government. Please note this is NOT a United States law but your countries law. If you have any questions about how much the charges are you will need to contact your local postal service or government. We cannot know this information nor can we control it in any way. 

If the tracking number information for the package in question states that it was "delivered", then ToBeHis LLC. is not responsible for issuing a replacement nor a refund. It is also not ToBeHis LLC. 's responsibility to initiate nor follow any investigation made by USPS. Because the package was marked as "delivered" it is now the buyer's responsibility initiate and oversee any investigation.
If a package is damaged during transit, photo documentation of the entire shipment (as it was delivered to you) must be presented to us via email provided for you here on on the SAME exact day as delivery stated on the tracking. NO LATER, NO EXCEPTIONS. These pictures in turn will depict proof of official USPS documentation that will have already been adhered on the damaged package before delivery for you. All "damage" packages will be handled on an individual basis and to our discretion.
If a package does not arrive (no "deliverd" tracking) within 45 calendar days (60 days outside of USA), of the day it was shipped, we (ToBeHis LLC) will replace the item at no additional cost to the buyer.  An investigation will be initiated and if the package is later found to have been delivered (after a replacement has been sent) the customer agrees to either return the merchandise or be billed for the additional price of the order.  

Returns, Refunds and Exchanges

Please know that we make only custom made, "to order"  and hand tailored items. Like all custom made items, this does not allow for any returns or refunds. Under no circumstance are refunds given.  
ToBeHis does not carry "inventory" or "pack and ship" items. You will not find a single Factory mass produced item here! Each piece is custom made to order. For this reason there are no exchanges on any of our products
We have gone to great lengths to provide you with all the information needed to make an educated purchase, as well as many ways to communicate with us (before purchasing) if you're not sure about something.  We give you all the tools and information with which you may base an educated decision to purchase one of our Hand Crafted custom made  products. Failure to utilize said information is in buyer error and is classified as buyer neglect.

While very rare, on occasion, one of our products may have a defect or undesirable workmanship flaw.  If for any reason it is determined that our workmanship or product is defective, we will repair it and/or replace it at our cost including round trip postage. This of course is at our discretion and will be determined by us on an individual case basis. If it is determined that the damage or problem was caused by the user, a repair/ fee (price to be determined) will be charged not including round trip shipping. It is our only goal to make quality products and to make our customers happy but we cannot be held responsible for user neglect or "misuse."

By purchasing from our store you accept full responsibly for having read these policies and agree unconditionally to all information relayed here.
We utilize our right to cancel or deny ANY order, as we see fit. Orders to which we will exercise this right include but are not limited to:

-Customers to which we have had (or are presently having) troublesome dealings with.
- extortion of any kind (including venue extortion.)
- inappropriate or abusive language.
- copyright, trademark or patent abuse.

Failure to select a correct total length or size upon ordering falls under "buyer neglect" as there is an abundance of information (including our sizing video tutorials) and tips, to help you determine your total length. ToBeHis is no way responsible for a wrong size selected by the buyer. By purchasing from ToBeHis, you agree to ALL information relayed here on this entire web page, and understand that ToBeHis is not responsible if you purchase an incorrect size or total length. If you are unsure please contact us BEFORE your purchase and we will be more than happy to help you determine the correct size. We are always here to help and we want nothing more than for our customers to be totally happy with their purchase.  
We can, for an additional fee ($29.95 minimum) re-size your collar.  Some collar cannot be resized so please always contact us so we can make that determination.  Any collars (or products) that are returned with no authorization will be immediately returned to the customer. Typically alterations can take from 2-4 weeks depending on our work queue.   

That being said, while we can shorten most of our collars  many  CANNOT physically be lengthened. In this case, you will have to purchase an entirely new collar if you want to replace it with a larger size . We cannot force you to read the information or look at our photos, we can only offer all necessary information (via word and pictures and videos), and hope you will utilize them. **Please note: ToBeHis cannot manipulate the laws of physics.** If it cant be lengthened, we can not change that.

Collars that cannot be lengthened are as follows:

ALL Cuffs (Neck, wrist and ankle).
ALL Leather Collars
Certain other Sterling and Stainless Collars
(ask if you're not sure)

By purchasing from our store you accept full responsibly for having read this policy and agree unconditionally to all information relayed here.


Our collars are specifically "Day Collars." We know many of our customers are new to the lifestyle and might not know what the true definition of a day collar is.  Please see our FAQs section for a more detailed description of what a day collar is. 
Day collars (and locks) are jewelry meant to be STRICTLY ornamental (for show). They are used ONLY as a SYMBOL of our lifestyle and are not made or designed to be used in any stressful situation.  They are not designed to be used in any kind of"restraint" or "play" or to be subject to any kind of activity that would potentially damage it. For example, if you think something you're doing might damage the collar then it probably is a good idea to take it off  while doing so. If you're collar is delicate, it's probably no a good idea to sleep with it on or go to the gym or mountain climbing with it on. We ask that our customers please use common sense when wearing our jewelry. We CANNOT be held responsible for user misuse. If you have any questions about how the collar should be used PLEASE ask us before purchasing. We are always here to help!

Our definition of what 24/7 means is that the item can be used during daily activities such as showering, swimming, and sweating without damaging the item or causing any kind of rust, discoloration or malfunction. While most  all of our collars (except leather and pearls)  can be worn continuously (24/7)  with out problems, some of our collars are too delicate to be worn during certain activities such as sleeping or while doing strenuous activities like hiking or mountain climbing etc..  These collars are clearly marked as "Daily Wear" in the listing's description. 
Again, we ask that you exercise common sense while using our products. If you think it can possibly be damaged by your activities it probably will be.  Please make smart purchases based on the wearer's lifestyle. We are always here for our customers, if you're not sure about something please ask us, we are always happy and eager to help you!

We are also in the lifestyle so we know that a "locking" collar is important but we are required for liability reasons, to state that we do not recommend locking a collar around your neck, ankle or wrist without a key in your physical possession for safety purposes. If you do, you should always have a key close by in case of emergency. A locking collar can be a safety hazard and should be used for ornamental purposes ONLY. IF YOU LOCK THE COLLAR ON YOUR NECK, ANKLE OR WRIST YOU DO SO AT YOUR OWN RISK AND WE HOLD NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANY INJURY CAUSED BY WEARING OUR JEWELRY.
If you feel there is something we haven't covered here or in our FAQs please feel free to write us and let us know.
Jewelry, particularly the kind we offer, is very difficult to give any kind of warranty or guarantee. This is because we cannot foresee how the customer will use and care for their collar and/or lock.  Unfortunately, due to the nature of the "lifestyle" our jewelry appeals to, there is a misunderstanding that because it is BDSM related and defined as "24/7" wear that it is somehow magically "indestructible" and can withstand BDSM activities like restraint or pulling, or play etc...  Of course this is not how our "fine jewelry" items are intended to be used. (See FAQ's for more information).  Just like you probably wouldn't go mountain climbing in your Tiffany & Co or Cartier high quality jewelry, you should use the same common sense with our "high quality" jewelry.
We guarantee that all of our pieces are free from any manufacturing defects. 
We guarantee that our metals are as advertised and the highest quality available.  If we say it is "solid sterling silver" you can rest assured it is.  
We guarantee that what we advertise is exactly what you will get or better.  
We don't guarantee your collar will last any specific amount of time.  Bottom line, if you take care of your things they will take care of you.  All high quality jewelry requires care and maintenance.
We don't guarantee your collar will not break if it is used or put in a situation outside of it's intended use.  If your baby yanks on it or it gets snagged on a branch or twig when you're mountain climbing and breaks, that is not due to defective workmanship. Again, 24/7 or BDSM does NOT equal "indestructible."
With the proper care and maintenance your collar should last quite some time.  We warranty your collar to be free of workmanship defects or we will repair or replace it for free.  We will even cover round trip shipping costs.  
Please understand that we are literally a 2 person store.  We are just a normal D/s couple living and working in the lifestyle. (see our about us "story" video) This is what we do full time, 60+ hours a week, to support our family.  We are not a large corporation like Amazon, Ebay or Walmart selling mass produced "pack and ship" items from China. Each one of our pieces is handcrafted here by one of us.  We take what we do very seriously and with great pride.  It is ONLY in our best interest to sell the highest quality and best workmanship products. We wouldn't be around for over 6 years and over 10,000 sales if we didn't.
  We are not just some company who sells junk or who is trying to rip off customers to make a quick buck.  We care for and value our customers and honor them as part of our extended "family" and treat them like we would like to be treated.  Respect, understanding, Superior customer service and the best quality products are what you can expect ALWAYS from ToBeHis. 
If something breaks or does not work correctly due to our negligence we will be HONEST about it and we will make it up to you how ever we can.  This is OUR promise to you.