My Cart





What is a "Day Collar?"

In the beginning, when day collars were first introduced into the BDSM community, they were only supposed to be worn during "vanilla" situations where a "normal" leather or steel "house" collar was not acceptable.  If you were going out to dinner or going shopping or a family event, wearing a day collar symbolized that you were still under ownership by your Dom but ONLY you and other people in the lifestyle would recognize this. To the normal "vanilla" world, you were just wearing a piece of jewelry.  Once back home, the day collar came off and the house collar went back on.   In the last few years though (especially after "50 Shades")  BDSM and Vanilla started to merge more and more making the day collar used more like the house collar and as something to be worn continually or "24/7."
With this said, all of our collars (except leather and pearls) and locks can withstand 24/7 wear.  They are solid high grade pure metals (925 Sterling, 14K gold, 316L Stainless Steel) that will not rust or be damaged with normal bathing.  They can even withstand salt or chlorine swimming (rinsing it off with clear water afterwards will stop any premature tarnishing).   
Please remember that this is still "jewelry" and should be cared for as any other high quality, expensive jewelry.  Day collars should match the person's lifestyle in the fact that if they are a hiker or a mountain climber you probably don't want a thin fragile chain that can easily get snagged and broken etc...  Many people think 24/7 equals "indestructible."  Common sense should be used when selecting the right collar.  
If you are not sure or have any questions, please just contact us.  We are always happy to help!

Sterling Silver VS. Stainless Steel

Stainless and Sterling are two different metals that we don't recommend mixing.  There are many reasons for this but the main ones are metal hardness and color.  Steel is a much harder metal than Silver and if used together can have a damaging effect on the sterling.  While these two metals may individually both look "silver" colored, held side by side there is a pretty dramatic color difference (stainless being more "gray" and sterling being more "white").  While we can't really stop a customer from mixing these two metals, we keep them separated and only offer like metals (ie. stainless collars with stainless locks and sterling with sterling)  in our product listings.  The reason we don't offer all the different lock shapes and sizes in both metals is really about cost.  Most people don't really think of what goes into making just one product.  Each lock design literally costs thousands of dollars to create and make.  The process of doing this requires many hours of work including things like: 3D CAD design, 3D model printing, rubber molds, casting and finally production.  This is a lot of work and investment and for us and since we are just a small shop, we are not able to do it.  The demand is just not there so therefore it is just not cost effective or feasible for us to do.
How do I know if I want Sterling or Stainless?
If you ask us (this is just our preference) we will always tell you Silver is the best choice of metal to get.  This is because we feel Silver is a more beautiful colored metal and also for the obvious, it is a valuable metal with excellent "resale" value.  Silver will always have a monetary value for resale while stainless steel is worth almost nothing as a commodity for resale. 
Which is more durable Stainless or Sterling?
This is a very good question.  While sterling is a "softer" metal than steel this has nothing to do with it's longevity as jewelry.  Properly taken care of a sterling piece of jewelry will last literally many lifetimes, after all, it still is a metal.  How you take care of  your jewelry determines how long it will last.  Remember, Day collars are jewelry representations of the lifestyle and NOT used for any kind of practical lifestyle activity.  They should never be subject to any kind of stress and are only to be used for "ornamental" (show) purposes and never for restraint or play.  (Please see above "what is a day collar.) Finally, your budget is also a big factor, silver is always going to be more expensive than steel.

How do I care for and clean my collar?

Our High Quality products are so very easy to clean.  Since most all of our collars and locks are 24/7 wearable (see below for exceptions) just soaping them up when bathing is enough to keep them clean and shiny.  Of course make sure to rise them with clear water afterwards.

Stainless Steel is a very hardy metal and can be maintained with just soap and water.  Surprisingly enough, even Sterling Silver and Gold can also be kept clean and tarnish free this way as well.  How much your sterling or gold collar and lock will tarnish also depends on your body's chemistry as well as environment (air, water, chemicals).  If your sterling or gold collar does tarnish we recommend using a good silver polish or dip.  These items can be purchased at just about any hardware store or supermarket.  Our favorite is a product called "Tarnex."  It is literally a dip (or wipe) for 5 seconds and the tarnish is magically gone!  Just remember that Tarnex works only on "tarnish" and you should clean your collar with soap and water to clean off any dirt or oils first before using the Tarnex.  Also remember to rinse the collar or lock after using the Tarnex.  Then just wipe dry with a paper towel or soft cloth/towel.

There are many good silver polishes out there as well.  Many of these have mild abrasives that can be used if your collar is lightly scratched.  Always follow the manufacturer's directions. 

There are also many "jeweler's cloths" out there that are wonderful for a quick and easy shine.  Many are formulated to remove tarnish and polish as you wipe.  Again, always read the manufacturer's description and instructions before using on your special collar.

Our Leather products are made from the Best Quality Leathers available to us.  With the proper care they too will last a lifetime.  They are not meant to be worn during swimming or bathing and should be regularly cleaned and conditioned as you would with any high grade leather.  There are many leather cleaners and conditioners available on Amazon or at your local hardware store or supermarket.  Our favorite is from a company named "Bickmore" and the product is "Bick 4".  This stuff is amazing!  It conditions, cleans, polishes and protects all in one product.  We purchase it on Amazon and we love it!


Never wear your collar around any harsh chemicals. Things like hair dyes and hair straightners can stain Sterling, Gold and even Stainless Steel.  While chlorine from swimming pools is not harmful to any of our products, it can speed up tarnish on Sterling and Gold.  Always rinse your collar and lock with clear water after swimming at the beach or pool.  Remember, use common sense.  If you think something you're doing might damage your collar you should always remove it to protect it.  With the proper care your collar and lock will last a lifetime!



What Shipping Services do you offer?

Our standard shipping carrier is the United States Postal Service (USPS). We use USPS for both Domestic as well as International shipping.  We might be able to offer other services for International (only) but this depends on your country.  Please contact us if you have any questions about shipping BEFORE you make your purchase.

What Countries do you ship to?

We ship all over the world!  If your country is not offered in our shipping it is because the United States Postal Service (USPS)  or DHL does not go there.  If this is the case you can write us (BEFORE you purchase) and request using another shipping service if USPS or DHL does not ship to your country.

Do you use discreet packaging? How about Gift Wrapping?

All of our items come securely gift wrapped in our beautiful black and silver logo box with a pretty silver elastic bow to close it. For most purchases we ship in our black bubble mailers addressed from "". Purchases shipped using USPS Priority or Priority Express (or other) may be in a special envelope or box provided by USPS.

Do you sell Wholesale?

Because each piece is made individually and with our own two hands from scratch, we couldn't possibly wholesale in any quantity that would benefit us.

What does 24/7 Wearable mean?

We here at ToBeHis define 24/7 wearable as being able to be in constant contact with skin without causing any reaction or irritation. All of our 24/7 products can be worn while bathing with no worries of damage to the metal. We only use the highest quality metals that are Nickel free and hypoallergenic. This does not, by any means, mean our items are indestructible. You must use common sense and knowledge when wearing any high quality fine jewelry.


Are you Black Coated collars and locks 24/7?

Yes, the black coated locks and collars are Hypoallergenic as well as 24/7 and can withstand normal daily activities like sweating, bathing, and swimming.  Just remember any item that has a "coating" or "plating" will eventually wear off.   It can last years or only months.  How fast depends on how you care for it as well as things like environment and body chemistry. We only carry a few black items and this is due to customer requests.  As you can see 99% of our products are solid pure metals that will last a lifetime.  Other than our black coated items we don't make anything "plated" or "coated" for this reason.

How Durable are you products?

We do not sell hardware. We sell High quality Jewelry symbolic of our lifestyle. With the proper care our products will last a lifetime.

Please remember that these are DAY COLLARS (see definition above), and as such they are High quality jewelry and STRICTLY for ornamental  (show) use. Sterling Silver and 14/18K gold are soft precious metals. Under no circumstance are these intended for anything other than wearing as you would any other High Quality Fine jewelry. ( i.e. no pulling, restraining, tugging or stressing) Doing so will subject your collar/lock to being possibly damaged.

Stainless Steel and Nickel Plated (locks) are stronger metals, but still fall under the day collar definition and care. Again, please use common sense when wearing jewelry.

Do you offer any "free" products for promotional exchanges?

While we appreciate the kind offer, we do not offer any free merchandise for any reason; due to the custom, handcrafted and typically high ticket nature of our pieces.

Do you take custom or personalized orders?


We pride ourselves on being a 100% custom shop and are highly skilled Artisans who are experts in our craft. If you have an idea or design you would like made just let us know and we will work with you to make it a reality.

Also, we can mix and match anything in our store so if you see two (or more items) that you like and want to combine it just let us know. We are always here to help!